Park Lane & Mayfair

After a pretty energetic session at The Goring Hotel the other day – whereby my hair was sticking out in all directions, my mascara was smudged around my eyes like a panda, and I was covered in a sheen of sweat (not to mention the state of my comatose partner) I was ravenous. Not just mildly hungry,  notravenousus, I could have murdered someone for a cheeseburger, fries and milkshake. I took my grumbling stomach into the bathroom to freshen up and considered my ruddy complexion in the mirror.

Considering the flush all over me, dilated pupils, racing heart and aching thigh muscles, I wondered why I bothered going to the gym or taking spin classes. A daily session like the one I just had would burn roughly 1400 calories a week (the same as enjoying an Indian bottle of red wine at a good London restaurant!). I looked at myself from all angles and decided what I saw. But while I was preening in the mirror, gentle snores came from my bedroom. He must have enjoyed it, too,

So how many calories DO you burn during a 45-60 minute session? Well, that would depend upon agility, experience and enthusiasm. There is also the bendability factor – as a Park Lane and Mayfair escort, I can get my feet behind my ears or balance on my hands with my legs in the air – not everyone can get past the standard missionary position. There is also “willingness to co-operate”. Extra calories may be burned whilst one partner begs open knees and the other walks away quickly!

Size is an important factor – a man with an average or small endowment would work twice as hard at satisfying his partner than a well-endowed man, who may not have to move at all. This leads me nicely to Woa man’s enthusiasm: laying on your back, planning tomorrow’s dinner would burn 1/2 a calorie instead of writhing, screaming and scratching up his back w, which would burn 90-100. Sexercise is a two-way thing.

Humour aside, sex is good for you. It improves your immune system, helps you tone, burns calories, releases endorphins and cures insomnia. It also seals bonds of attachment between partners and creates new ones. I get told I’m fantastic, beautiful and “the woman of my dreams” at least three times a week… It doesn’t take much to get in the mood when you know which buttons to press or which look to cast with your eyes. I think I am an ambassador for a healthy sex life, using vanity as my bargaining, too!

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