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What makes a Park Lane and Mayfair British escort so desirable? Is it her varied English accent or her roots? Unfortunately, I don’t actually know the answer but I do know that whatever it is, my latest client demanded it.

Abdul is the eldest son of an Arabian Sheikh and heir to the biggest fortune I have ever known. The amount of zero’s on his father’s bank balance would make Mohammed Al Fayed’s eyes pop. Resident mainly in Dubai but with a holiday home just about everywhere else, he was visiting the UK to sell some diamonds.

Abdul wanted to take me everywhere and anywhere that money could buy and give me the experience of a lifetime. I just had to speak with clipped, rounded vowels, wear something by Vivienne Westward and be as British and as high class as I knew how to be.

We started off in Knightsbridge, bypassing Harrods as Abdul said his cousins owned it and he’d been a hundred times before. To look at him, standing on Brompton Road in the rain, you’d have thought him any other 30-something bachelor. On closer inspection, his finely cut clothes, painfully expensive designer glasses and hand-made shoes spelt something quite different. Although the look was casual, the price tag was far from it. Abdul grabbed my hand and we started to walk.

I asked him where he was staying, by way of conversation. He looked me right in the eyes (Arabian men are not well known for their towering height, bless them) and said simply: The Dorchester. I should have known! I didn’t let on that I’d been there a million times before and said happily: “Show me.”

Two wholly satisfying hours later, Abdul was finally able to keep his mind firmly on the task at hand. We went for lunch at Wild Honey on St George’s Street and then down to Hatton Garden to keep his diamond appointment. Again, there was no need to mention I knew the area quite well as I find any diamond breath-taking – especially those he had about his person…. and I came away with a rather delectable pair of blue diamond earrings – just because he could.

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